Thursday, 21 August 2014

on speaking my mind


So many times this week I've walked away from a conversation or situation only to berate myself.

Why did I agree to that? 
Why didn't I stand up for myself? 
Why didn't I speak my mind?

Continually I find myself saying 'yes' when the reality is, it's the last thing I'd want to be wasting my precious time on. I want to tell people the words they speak are hurtful and fallacious, that they have perhaps misunderstood. But then there's the silence, words not said, thoughts unspoken and conversations avoided.

Why is it so hard for me to say how I feel?

Mostly I think it's because I don't like confrontation, I aim to please and hate letting people down. But more and more lately I am growing tired of people taking me for granted. I want to be heard.

I need to find my voice, to speak my mind and my truths.


Please tell me I'm not the only person who feels this way??


16 comments:

  1. oh sweet girl - I WANT YOU TO BE HEARD TOO!! I think we all find our voice at different times.. sometimes we only find it when there is no other option.. when we simply cannot agree for the sake of making everyone happy but yourself ONE more time.. you are strong and wonderful and caring and kind - and you should be YOU! blurting feelings out and all.. and if they don't like it - fuck em! lots of love xxx

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  2. It's a hard thing to start doing and I'm not going to lie sometimes it can unsettle relationships as people adapt to the change in you. BUT you only have one life to live as you, it's important to honour that and be true to you.

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  3. Lovely, you're definitely not the only one to feel this way. Not feeling heard is an awfully heavy feeling, as is feeling taken for granted. I'm sad for you that you're feeling this way and hope you're able to find that voice and strongly use it so that you can be true to you. xxx

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  4. I'm the opposite, I say what i think and feel, then I'm like argh why did I say that. I;m a straight shooter, But you should speak up, I don't think you will regret it.

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  5. It's such a hard balance Jody. I think as women we are automatically programmed to feel a sense of guilt and worry over the things we do or don't do. It can really start to send you nuts after a while. I tend to avoid confrontation also, but this past year or so has seen me just trying to do what is best for me and my family. As selfish as it sounds or may be perceived, it's about self preservation. As the saying goes 'those who matter, don't mind and those who mind, don't matter'. So so true.
    xoxo

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  6. I'm the opposite but I have learned to tow it in. If I don't speak my mind on something that is important to me, then the whole conversation can eat at me and stress me out. If you strongly believe in something or someone is taking advantage of you, then I think it is important to speak your mind. You need to decide whether it is more important to be true to yourself in the situation or please that person. I also think that by not speaking your mind when someone has said something that you truly do not agree with, by saying nothing, it gives the impression that you may agree with them.

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  7. I struggle with confrontation constantly. I hate the idea of hurting people or letting them down and find I'll do anything (including increase my own anxiety) to avoid doing that. I'd love to be better at it one day. Sometimes I have small wins, but if I'm already feeling stressed then I find it hard to voice what I think/need.

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  8. Yes, I always hate to think I'm hurting someones feelings. Hopefully we'll both get better with practice. x

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  9. I think you're right Laura. I'm going to try harder to speak my mind from now on. x

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  10. So true Julie, I think prioritizing family is the key. x

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  11. Thanks Lisa. I'm going to give it a red hot go.

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  12. Thank you for your kindness Nat. xx

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  13. I'm going to try and remember that from now on. Thank Lila. x

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  14. I've done the same, a lot, but I'm getting better. That gut feeling when you're nodding in agreement to something that you don't want to go along with is enough to remind you to stop. I try to now follow my heart, rather than my head. I try, but find it still takes practice. xx

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  15. This happens to me all the time.

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Thank you so much for stopping by, i love hearing from every one of you! xx

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